Stranger - and Scarier - than Fiction

Science Fiction and Other ODDysseys, or rather Ann Wilkes, was the victim of a burglary. The jewels I can live without. I'm hoping the insurance will not weasel out of covering the nearly new, not recently backed-up MacBookPro. Between that and my short-term gig as Volunteer Coordinator for the Sonoma County Book Festival, SFOO has suffered a bit. I'm breaking my silence with a post that is someone less than science fictional, but falls under the category of "you can't make this stuff (changed from shit for the tender-eared readers) up".

When I still had my lovely MacBookPro, I was unable to print wirelessly. I finally decided that that was getting a bit old - especially since I wanted to retire the desktop computer. So, several online chats later, Lexmark gives up. They don't know why I can't print wirelessly. Huh. This is after they made me wait two days while the team tried to recreate the conditions and fix the problem. Of course they made me rehash what we already did in spite of the fact that the problem ticket already existed. Just gave up. We don't know. Turns out it may have been the wireless router. I know this now because we had trouble with it when trying to get the desktop back up and running after the burglary. That two-hour ordeal included one useless call to Linksys, a call to the ISP, then another call to Linksys, (this time speaking to someone who actually knew what he was doing).

So, then the one piece of software I still didn't have on my beloved, now-stolen laptop was Quickbooks. I was using Quicken on the desktop and decided since I needed to buy software, why not think long-term? You know, to when I'm actually making so much money as a writer I need business software to track it all. :)

I swear on my first edition copy of Vernor Vinge's Fire Under the Deep that this is the actual chat conversation that was emailed to me. It doesn't say I can't share it with you all, so hopefully Intuit won't get bent out of shape. But we can all hope they'll get better customer service chatters. And how much you want to bet that the operator wasn't named "Lois"? By the way, it was all a moot point just three short days later. That's when I was burglarized.


General Info
Chat start time Sep 4, 2012 10:14:02 PM EST
Chat end time Sep 4, 2012 10:31:32 PM EST
Duration (actual chatting time) 00:17:30
Operator Lois
Chat Transcript
info: Please wait for a Chat Consultant to respond. Your wait time will be approximately 0 minute(s) and 1 second(s).
info: Welcome to QuickBooks Sales Chat. You are now chatting with 'Lois'. I'll be your QuickBooks Business Consultant. How can I help you today?
Lois: You're very much welcome! It's been a pleasure chatting with you today! When you leave this chat you will be offered a brief survey. Please click the “Close” button to end the chat. Your feedback is important to us, so that we can serve you better in the future. Have a wonderful day!
Lois: Sorry.
you: I have been using Quicken for a long time. I'm a writer who is not yet making a profit. Is Quick Books overkill?
Lois: Thank you for choosing to chat with QuickBooks Desktop Sales, my name is Lois. May I have your name please?
you: Ann
Lois: Hello there and pleased to meet you online Ann! How may I assist you?
you: I can transfer my Quicken data to Quickbooks, right?
you: Is it an upgrade if I have Quicken?
Lois: Yes you can transfer the data. You will have to convert the files first.
you: are there online tutorials to learn how to integrate with turbotax? Convert files to what? And how? I have a recent backup.
Lois: For that, just to set your expectations, you have reached the Desktop Sales team and I may not be able to address your concern. What I can do is provide you our Technical Support team number to better assist you.
Lois: Here's the number. 800-825-8168
you: So, do I get an upgrade price if I'm converting from Quicken?
you: I will, but please answer my other questions first.
you: there are two other unanswered questions
you: upgrade? and tutorials.
Lois: No. It will be the wamr. 20% discounted price.
you: OK and if I am only dealing with expenses and royalties in addition to regular personal stuff and no mortgage or other interest payments, is Quicken still a better fit?
Lois: Yes that's right.
you: what's right? Quicken is better for my needs?
Lois: You're most welcome. Would there be anything else that I may assist you with?
you: R U serious? You haven't answered any of my questions! Focus!
you: I didn't thank you either.
Lois: Quicken is designed for personal finances while QuickBooks is more on business.
you: Get your conversations straight or give me to someone who's paying better attention.
you: I know that much. Where do I fall if I'm only dealing with royalties and expenses?
you: Do you even know/
you: ?
Lois: For royalties and expenses, I suggest QuickBooks and not Quicken.
info: Your chat transcript will be sent to kawilkes@gmail.com at the end of your chat.

That's when I gave up...

Pictures and gamer and gadget goodies

I didn't get around to posting these pictures from the book fair. They were taken by Camille Picott's mother. That's Camille with me on the Redwood stage after the Broad Universe reading at the Sonoma County Book Festival on September 24th.

I read "Troll Games".

I never get tired of reading that. It works so well for a short reading because I can read the whole thing - or a slightly abridged version - in three minutes. And it's fun to read with the troll voice and everyone laughs at the ending. I'm seriously considering recording it and putting it on my website for readers to get a tiny taste of my funny side. As I've said before, I write in two flavors: funny or tragic. Occasionally, I combine the two. I love irony!





I've had several game-related press releases lately and thought I'd give them some airtime. Here's some eye candy for the gamers out there.



Gameforge interviewed Star Trek DS9 actors Nana Visitor (Kira Nerys) and Rene Auberjonois (Odo) about their upcoming release of Star Trek Infinite Space. You can view an HD trailer on the its website.



The load-down from Gameforge about its free-to-play online game:

About Star Trek - Infinite Space

Star Trek - Infinite Space is set in the diverse "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" timeline focusing on the looming war with the menacing "Dominion," featuring:

* The first browser-based Star Trek game eliminating the need to download a client

* Advanced Unity 3D technology, delivering rich 3D graphics in the web browser

* Some of the series' most beloved characters and recognizable locations

* Easy-to-pick-up gameplay, and is enjoyable for both casual and hardcore gamers

Star Trek - Infinite Space is slated for a late 2011 release. Players can secure exclusive items and benefits, such as beta key priority, by pre-registering for the game at http://landing.startrek-is.com.

Now this is the kind of thing that makes me wish I had an iPad. I'm just going to have to leave it to my buddies, Allen M. Steele and Greg Bear to tell you how great it is. Bear reviews it at Tor.com. And according to the publicist, Steele endorsed it with, “Journey to the Exoplanets turns your iPad into a starship. What an amazing app!” Here's a peek at what this iPad app from Scientific American in collaboration with Farrar, Straus and Giroux can do.


Finally, this was just way too cool not to share. An invisibility cloak. No. Really. Check it out. First, here's the video.